Fanfiction Rants
by GirlWithLightning
Summary: Cliches, overused plots, what next? Ranting about typical fanfiction in the Percy Jackson archive.
1. High School Percabeth

Okay, the first thing I'm going to say is that I'm not making fun of anyone. If anything, I'm making fun of myself haha. Also, my use of sarcasm is overwhelming.

I'm going to rant. About clichés and overused things and things that I've found in many Percy Jackson fanfiction.

And of course, I'm going to start off by Percabeth stories.

More specifically, high school Percabeth stories.

So in these, **Percy** is…

a. a jerk whose sweet side only comes out around Annabeth

b. a player who settles down for Annabeth and _*sigh*_ lives happily ever after with her

c. a regular boy, who falls for Annabeth and the rest is history

d. drama! The whole thing. It's just… drama.

And **Annabeth** is….

a. The rich girl who hates her mother and would do anything for the love of her life, Percy.

b. A nerd who falls for * _swoon_ * hot swimmer Percy Jackson!

c. The popular, overdramatic girl that Percy is trying to win over (OOC much?)

( _Excerpt example:_

 _I brush my long, beautiful blonde curls. Percy is for sure going to ask me out- again! But I have to turn him down cause- duh!- he wouldn't be good for my reputation! Hey, that hottie Luke Castellan would, though._

 _(This is very over exaggerated. I don't think people actually write like that. If they do… I'm not even going to think about that))_

d. The broken girl who's trying to get over Luke and Percy helps her heal.

And the minor characters:

 **Luke** : Luke is always, always a bad guy. Either Annabeth's ex or the guy Annabeth is crushing on until * _swoop_ * Percy comes in! On the rare occasions that he is not ( I've only read one fic with that. Sad.) he is Thalia's boyfriend. A minor character that makes no difference on the plot.

 **Rachel:** Rachel has a few different personalities. Sometimes, she's this totally b*tchy girl who's leader of the 'Percy Jackson Fan Club' and completely after Annabeth, trying to destroy the couple.

 _*Excerpt example:_

 _Percy looked so good shirtless, I thought. "Girls!" I called out to my main three girls. "We're going to stalk Percy on his swim meet!" I said excitedly._

 _Then I thought about that girl that Percy is talking to more and more often. "But first," I said. "We make the Annie Beth girl back off! That's our Percy she's trying to take away from us!"_

 _The girls giggled. "Okay, Rachel! We'll come up with a plan immediately!"_

 _I smile evilly. She's going down!_

 _(Spoiler alert: The plan consists of Rachel forcing herself on Percy for a kiss, Annabeth sees, and runs away crying. Percy runs after her and explains, and Percabeth lives on!))_

Other times, she's just Percy's friend. A sweet girl that Percy has had feelings for before but got over. She helps Annabeth and is just a total sweetheart!

She also might be the crazy ex. Or the lovable matchmaker. Our dear Oracle has many different personalities.

moving on…

 **Thalia** : Oh my. Thalia is a very interesting character in fics. Some of them (I love you if you've written any of these) are completely in character. That punk girl full of attitude and spunk and viciousness- yes, she's there.

In some, she's the matchmaker. She sets Percy and Annabeth up and watches happily.

 _(Excerpt example:_

 _I eavesdrop on the two of them talking and giggle. They're going to be so cute together!_

" _Who do you think locked us in here?" Annabeth asks Percy. "And why is there a threatening note?"_

" _Who do you think?" Percy asks._

" _Thalia." They both groan together. I smile mischievously. Setting them up is so much fun! They begin to plot revenge on me, and I smile. They're getting together because of me!)_

Thalia is just… amazing. All the time. (This is my own bias.)

 **Nico** : Dark. Radiates death. Hides in shadows. Occasionally Thalia's boyfriend in fic. Misunderstood boy who grieves for his sister.

 **Jason, Piper and Leo** : The trio that walks around together, with Leo third wheeling. Jason and Piper play Percy and Annabeth's best friends sometimes. Leo is the comic relief.

 **Hazel and Frank** : Adorable, cute couple that proves how anyone can love. They aren't very important to the plot, but still adorable. Lots of fluff with these two.

And… that's all I got. For now, anyways. Reviews would be much appreciated and I would love you forever.


	2. Thalico

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO and I'm not trying to insult anyone.

Today we will talk about the pairing called Thalico.

Thalia and Nico are paired up mostly because they're so similar, I think. That dark, powerful look.

Thalia is almost always OOC. Some things that I've read portray her as only joining the Hunters to save the gods (and I see where you're going with it.)

Thalia's feelings about Nico:

Excerpt Example One:

 _This is so messed up! I'm like 22 or something cause me being a tree and immortal, and Nico is like so old! He's been stuck in time so long so who knows how old he might be? But he's so hot ohmigod I can't get over him!_

 _So many girls have been flirting with him lately! Hmmm… how should I scare them off?_

Excerpt Example Two (mostly in character):

 _I am a Hunter- I've sworn off boys. So why do I find Nico Di Angelo attractive? For gods sake, I met him when he was a scrawny ten year old and never really paid that much attention to him, but now… there's just something about him._

 _I'm scared of what the Hunters will think. Their lieutenant likes a boy. And not just some boy, it's the brother of a late hunter._

 _I don't know what to do, honestly._

Excerpt Example Three (Very OOC):

 _I don't know how I'm going to tell Artemis that I'm going to quit the hunters, but it's going to be so worth it! Nico's just so hot, I'll be available and he'll be single- he just won't be able to resist me! Oh, and speaking of irresistible, I should ask Silena for tips!_

 _I should probably ask her how to flirt too. Nico won't know what hit him!_

And Artemis always seems to catch the two at the wrong time.

Artemis's attitude in them:

Sometimes, she suspects that Thalia isn't entirely faithful to the oath and holds feelings for someone else, so she tests her and watches her to see if she likes Nico.

Other times, she has _no idea_ that her oh so loyal lieutenant is falling for a boy! There's no _way_ that the brilliant Hunter can like a _boy_ , Thalia absolutely hates them doesn't she? Artemis is shocked and angry and shuns Thalia forever! But Thalia doesn't care because Nico is * _sigh_ * _such_ a dreamy boy.

And sometimes, she's very understanding. By this, I mean the authors portray her as Thalico's #1 fan.

Excerpt Example:

 _I appear right in the middle of Thalia and Nico sharing a kiss in the forest. Oh, how cute! I may not like the boy, but he's a great match for Thalia!_

 _The two of them jump apart when they see me and look at me wide-eyed, afraid of the consequences. Aww, they even have the same looks of fear on their faces!_

" _Thalia! Nico! What a surprise! Okay, Thalia, let's get right to stripping you of your immortality. It'll hurt a bit, but hey- you can spend the rest of your life with Nico! I'm so happy for you!"_

 _The two looks at me like I've grown another head. I check just in case I have, but it's all clear._

 _I see out of the corner of my eye that Nico has a finger on Thalia's. D'awww! Thalico is the power couple! So cute!_

The way that Artemis strips her of immortality most often makes Thalia faint- and for the extra fluffy writers, right into Nico's arms! She wakes up, is happy to be with Nico, and they live happily ever after!

Awkward side note: is it just me that gets pissed off when people say, "I don't write Solangelo or Percico or any gay ships- because I'm totally straight!" Like, come _on_! You don't have to be gay to write a fanfic about them!

So anyways, Thalico stories are great! Kinda like wishing for something that will never happen, because Thalia= Hunters and Nico= gay, but still great! The in character stories are actually the best.

Up next: (If I find enough info on them) Solangelo!


End file.
